Anyone thinking of closing their home? - Adoption.com Forums

Thanks for the support. Usually my husband and I are done at different times so can support and talk each other into going on. This week we are both just drained. Our FS will age out of our home, we are looking at another year. And then I think we are done.

During training we were told respite was available and to ask when needed. My FS has a lot of rules, and in the beginning required 24/7 supervision (and no we are not a therapeutic home or paid to be one, in fact two FT working parents). I asked and asked for respite until one week when I called on Monday and said get me respite for the weekend or find a new home. It took us having a melt down to get help. In all this and training, no one ever said that there was a limit to respite. And only 4 days a year! Our training material says $30 a night, which would be reasonable based on what we are paid per night.

We thought we just did not claim those days and the respite home did and got paid. Nope, they want us to claim the days and pay the respite home double!

It is the CWs supervisor that is requiring monthly respite. We had a very bad week a few months ago, the one I called with a meltdown. Instead of getting help, we had our CW and her supervisor come out and lecture us for 2 solid hours. We were told over and over again that we were only foster parents and at the same time told to parent more and stop calling them. Very confusing message, and since then we have cut communication down a lot with the CWs but feel very unsupported with a difficult placement.

inshape - I have all ready quit my job. I left a very good job behind because it became clear we needed a parent at home this summer. We received no support in lining up activities, school or care for our FS. The only suggestion was a Rec Center in a city that my FS is not even allowed to go to. We cannot take more kids, we only have one bedroom for kids and our current placement needs to be an only child.

To add to the stress, when my FS is in a bad mood I will not be alone with him. This is putting so much stress on my husband, b/c he is working FT and then has to be around more. These usually only last a few days, but that is a lot to ask of one person. Oh and despite the fact that the county gave me full history on FS, they don't understand why I will not be alone with him at times. There are good reasons. I can't even begin to tell you all the restrictions we have and then the county gets mad at me because I bring up safety concerns.

And the last one, the county is pushing us to leave FS home alone. We have only had him 4 months, have not stabilized the family/home and do not trust him with our animals. This has been such an issue we are pushing back and the county has threaten to disrupt b/c we will not leave him in our home alone. The county training that they put us through said to wait ONE YEAR! Now I have CWs pushing after a few months.

If we knew all these things ahead of time we would not have become foster parents. I wish the training was more informative and honest. We put a lot into this, and have lost a lot (my job!) only to now know it is not our path.

Whew, OK, thanks, I needed to vent this out.

Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/405722-anyone-thinking-closing-their-home.html

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